If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If the police arrest a mime, does he still have the right to remain silent?
Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If a pit bull humps your leg you’d better fake an orgasm.
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re a twat.
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.
The easiest way to find something that’s lost is to buy a replacement.
How come when you open a can of evaporated milk it’s still there?
Why is there only one Monopolies commission?
If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.
Guns don't kill people - Husbands who come home early kill people.
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic?
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
3:59 PM
Friday, August 20, 2004
OH How the might have fallen
Its a friday, where should i be now? hmmm... WORK! But then DUe to the fact that i've been eating lots of funny stuff on Wednesday, it brings me no pleasure to inform u that i've been on MC since Thursday.
Its not a matter of "i can relac at home and do my own stuff" thingy. No. Of course i wanna do my own stuff, just that when i'm sick, i feel like Homer when he gets drunk on Duff beer. I lose focus on everything, and i feel like my brain is on high, floating here and there. Can't deny the fact the medicines got something to do with it; yeah it accelerates the effects. ARGH.
Woke up at 11 this morning. Watched Blade 2 till 3, slept till 5, ate till 7. Story of my life for today. Wow its so interesting. SOmetimes i just wonder, I should be doing something else. Like programming or studying for example. Unfortunately, my body feels so weak and lethargic, the bed becomes an enticing object again. Wanted to push myself to go to the gym, if i wasn't on MC, but then forcibly pushing myself to workout would send the bacteria on an expressway to my brain. Wouldn't want that now would we?
Shucks, i still feel hungry after eating Yong Tow Fu, and feeling high too. Gotta force myself to study. IF SOE HLA WIN can do it, so can i!
ps(..but then soe hla win is a freak of nature, oh well, better to be a freak then a weirdo.)
7:33 PM
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Rack to the Real World...
Hey y'all. Yeah, I'm back. Back from the national organization known as the "Army". Man, it was a real tough 2 weeks, travelling all the way from Tampines to Boon Lay. Shucks, i've relived my dislike for the army. The uniform (ok, so i get looks from babes when i'm in it but...), the work, the time wasted etc. Anyway, it wasn't all bad. Let's recount my first In Camp Training episode...
First day was kinda exciting. Didn't know what crap i'd find myself in. Hey the army has already commercialized weapon inspection and repair to Singapore Technologies eh? So i wouldn't get to touch weapons again right? WRONG!
Had a short briefing in the conference room by the CO. Everybody looked so blur, which explains the fact that for most of them, it was their first ICT. Was assigned to LOG Branch. Hmm log branch, is that all paper work??!? hehe. NO!
Went to the office and lo and behold, an armourer was standing in the office, ready to bring us to the slaughter. Freakin shit. My 5 year virginized hands will now be corrupted again for 2 weeks. What's more, it was the Unit's LRI. Logistics Readiness Inspection. WHAT LUCK!!!!
"Would anyone want to stay-in? All you need to prepare for is a standby bed on Sat.." the administrative assistant so kindly suggested. STAY IN? U MAD OR WAT? 2 years stay in not enough ah? I rather sleep in the MRT! Forgive me for i still am in a civilian mentality. HAHAA.. Oh well, thankfully, my colleague Heng Hai offered to put me up at his place whenever i needed to reach Boon Lay Interchange by 7 a.m.
At first touch, the M-16's felt rather odd in my hands. They had SAR-21's too, but we weren't trained in them so we just given a short lesson by the IC in stripping and parts recognition. A little while after, we were assigned to do the weapons inspection at the armoury, which is miles and miles away from the workshop.However a little fiddle here, there and the old skills naturally came back. I guess the armourers there needed a little more experience cause the IC commented to his armourer that the speed in which i checked the weapons was impressive. HAHA...
For most of the time, The "siongness" was because of the "nuaness". We were living the reservist life, as in canteen breaks, talk cock sessions, spec mess hideouts, karaoke, and TV in the Spec Mess. The only disappointing fact was that we had to walk a long long way to our hideout.
The best part though was, after the checking of the weapons, we had to give a report to the WSM on the condition of his weapons. The sight of seeing cadets, cleaning their weapons and having their night outs revoked brought back sweet memories. HAHHAAHA. CAN U DIG IT SUCKA!
